its christmas day, it doesnt feel like christmas to me a. alot of hype. i am so sad about the state of things in my family. its just a mess and getting worse . i love my kids. this man i married has hurt me so much recently that my spirit is depressed and i just want to die .he has not acknowledged to me any sorrow over wat he has done and the toll it is taking on m heart is rididculously sad.

been a while not much has changed....

how crazy that i stumbled across this blog i started feb 2010.well here it is nov.2011 whats changed is that my children are a few years older but seem to have become some very interesting characters . my oldest son still is into cars aswell as my husband the 2 of them are more alike than they would wish to admit or agree upon.they completly do not get along.and that started with my son having a voice and not getting when to use it around his dad or develop a knowingness of boundry lines. and it really went to a realationship caught in a downward spiral when he rejected that Mustang my husband never got over that and the most hurtful to andrew was when his dad refused to attend his highschool graduation .at that point in time it became probally one of the sadest things i ever saw and must witness .i just dont get it and never will . the result in andrews life is so disturbnig to him that he has very little peace in his heart. It is my greatest wish that hewill be able to move forward and find for himself a place where people love and forgive and are peace loving.